


Dan Vs Sleep

by Queen_Anarchy



Category: Dan Vs.
Genre: Fluff, M/M, friend fluff in the beginning, slow build I guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-05-04 05:19:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5321918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Anarchy/pseuds/Queen_Anarchy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan hasn't been sleeping very well lately... but there's a reason for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Am I Getting Fat?

**Author's Note:**

> this will be a slow build sort of, not that slow... but slow enough. don't worry it'll be cute.   
> this is sort of a short chapter.

“Hello?” Chris picked up the phone, prepared to be screamed at through the line.

“HELLO!? CHRIS?!”

“…Who is this?” Chris smirked, he knew it pissed Dan off when he did this.

“You know that joke gets really fucking OLD, SO STOP USING IT BEFORE I BURN YOU AT THE STAKE.”

Chris sighed, “What is it Dan?”

“Earlier there was this kid that threw and egg at me, so when I went to go chase him down-“

“Look Dan, I’m not helping you track down a child.” Chris interrupted.

“No! Shut up let me finish! Anyway I ran after him right? Only halfway down the street I was out of breath and I stopped running! CHRIS, TELL ME THE TRUTH!”

Chris raised an eyebrow “Uh… sure…?”

“AM I GETTING FAT?!”

Chris held his hand over the phone so Dan wouldn’t hear him laugh.

“Chris? CHRIS?!”

“No Dan you aren’t fat, are you sure that you weren’t just tired?”

“HA! TIRED? I NEVER GET TIRED.”

Chris giggled and sighed “Just come over here Dan.” He then heard a knock at the door.

“Open the damn door then.”


	2. Lactose Free Ice Cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also a very short chapter. sorry.

“Do you have any lactose free ice cream here?”

Chris scratched his head and blinked “Um… I don’t think so…”

Dan threw his spoon on the ground and stomped on it “USELESS.”

The larger man then picked up his annoyed friend and moved him to the living room couch.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING YOU STUPID JERK? PUT ME DOWN!”

He gently put Dan down on the couch and received a kick to the knee “Ow! What was that for?!”

“You didn’t put me down when I asked.” 

Chris rubbed his knee and left to his room to go get something.

“Where are you going?” Dan peered down the hall and watched as Chris walked back to him with a blanket. “What are you doing?”

“You need rest Dan.”

“YOU’RE GOING TO SMOTHER ME?! OH HELL NO! I’LL SMOTHER YOU FIRST!”

“No! Dan calm down! I was getting you this blanket so you could sleep!” he pushed Dan to the couch and threw the blanket over him.

“I’m not even tired! I have things I need to do today.”

Chris raised an eyebrow “Like what?”

“Not this!” he kicked the blanket off and landed on the floor.

He picked him back up and put him on the couch once more, “You have time.”

Dan crossed his arms and closed his eyes “Fine! But I demand a pillow. Your finest pillow.”

Chris rolled his eyes and trudged back to his bedroom, to fetch the ‘finest pillow.’ 

“Here you go Dan.”

“Thank you, Monkey.” He placed the pillow under his head and leaned back. “Oh, this is nice.”

“Anything else I can do for you Dan?”

“Get me lactose free ice cream.”

He sighed and grabbed his keys from the counter, “I’ll be back.”


	3. Mwah Mwah Mwah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for all the tiny chapters i'll be sure to make a longer one  
> chapter 4 most likely

“Dan, I’m back with your ice cream! I hope you like chocolate.” He opened the door and walked in, almost slamming the door shut until he saw Dan sleeping.  
He looked so precious, non-lethal, he looked so calm… for once.

Chris smiled and tip-toed to the kitchen, putting the ice cream in the freezer for later. He looked back at Dan and noticed that he looked really uncomfortable now, he  
was whimpering and mumbling things in his sleep.

“N-no… please, don’t leave… Dad….”

Chris sat down on the couch next to Dan, he didn’t wanna wake him up, he had heard somewhere that you weren’t supposed to wake up people when they’re having a nightmare. Of course he’d believe that. 

“Mom, please no No NO NOO.” He sat up quickly and head-butt Chris, “AH! FUCK!”

Chris held his nose as blood came pouring out. “Dan! Are you okay?!”

“No I’m not okay! I just got hit in the head with your dumb face!” he rubbed his head and opened one eye and stared at Chris’s bloody upper lip “Why were you so close?!” 

“You were having a nightmare!” he looked down at his hands and wiped them on his pants. Looking back up at Dan and his eyes softened. “What was your dream about Dan?”

Dan’s angry expression changed quickly, turning into a more sullen look.

“What is it Dan?” he put a hand on Dan’s shoulder, “You can tell me…”

Dan looked up at Chris, and then at his shoulder. 

Chris took his hand away quickly “S-sorry.”

Dan sighed and looked back down “I…I had a dream that my dad, he left me… and then my Mom she.-“  
Dan’s eyes began to water “She blamed me for it…. Of course.”

Chris knew about what went on at Dan’s house when he was a kid, since they had been with each other since 2nd grade. He always came to school with bruises and scrapes, he always said it was from a fall from a tree. Most of the time he wasn’t lying, but there were times where you could tell that he was.

“Oh… Dan…” Chris pulled him in for a hug. 

“GET OFF OF ME YOU BIG.-“  
he was cut off by his own struggles against Chris, he started slowing down and eventually he had stopped. He sniffed and wrapped his arms around Chris, burying his face in his chest. 

Chris rested his chin atop Dan’s head and spoke quietly “It’s okay Dan, I understand.”

Dan began to mutter under his breath, unable to be heard due to being smothered by Chris.

“What was that Dan?” Chris leaned back, and inspected Dan’s red face. 

“It… It was nothing, leave me alone you monkey.” He shoved Chris and crossed his arms, eyes narrowed staring at the carpet. 

“You sure it was nothing Dan? You know you can tell me anything right?”

Dan shoved Chris off the couch and mimicked him, “You can tell me anything Dan I’m such a good friend, and oh can I have a hug Dan? Mwah mwah mwah!” 

“OW! Dan!”


	4. Ungrateful Bastard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a bit longer, i always feel nice when i upload something so an ongoing thing is good for me, short or not yeah?

It’s been this way since before Chris and Elise met, it has just worsened over the years and when they got married, all hell broke loose.

Of course Dan would never let Chris know about the way he feels about anything, he’s not that kind of guy. It was a struggle even letting the girl of his dreams know how he felt about her. Let alone his best friend since childhood, right?

The short raven-haired man trudged up the steps to his apartment and hoped that it was unlocked, so that he wouldn’t have to mess with his keys. 

He just wanted to go to sleep.

He was greeted at the door by the small mouser that he shared the home with, she mewed as she rubbed against his dusty blue jeans and his muddy black shoes. 

“Hey Mr. Mumbles, how’s my cute little kitty doin’?” He bent down and scooped her up, walking slowly through the trash and grime that covered the floor, dodging the who-knows-what and how-long-has-that-been-rotting. 

When he finally reached his room he had finally let the cat roam free so that he could get comfortable. 

Staring up at the ceiling, Dan began to think, it’s what he did to fall asleep. Although, whenever his mind wandered to Chris he found it hard to find rest. “Stupid jerk… marrying Elise… abandoning me.”

He recalled how he and Chris use to live together, until he moved in with Elise. 

He always hated Elise. 

The way she talks, acting like she’s better than everyone else, has Chris completely under her spell.

He laughed a little when he remembered their wedding, though he regretted not ruining her dress and the cake and everything else. All out of respect for Chris, the ungrateful bastard. 

Next thing Dan knew, it was 5 in the morning. Then 6. Then 7. 

The phone began to ring, it was Chris. 

“Hello?”

“Hey Dan! You ready to go to the farmers market? I’m on my way there, and guess what?”

“What?”

“They have kettle corn! You love kettle corn!”

Dan stayed quiet while he listened to Chris as he rambled on, not having the energy to tell him to shut up.  
Eventually he did though.

“Eh- Dan? You still there?” 

“Yeah I’m just… I didn’t get any sleep last night okay?” 

“Why not?”

“Ughhhh, nothing don’t worry about it.” 

“You ready to go? I’m almost there…”

“No I’m not ready you literally just called me about it.”

“Oh… sorry Dan, I’ll let you go so you can get ready alright?”

“’Kay.”

“Uh… Alright, bye Dan!” 

He then heard a click on the other end, ending the call. Finally. 

He sat up and pulled on his trademark “Jerk” shirt and put on the blue jeans he had worn the day before. While he dusted them off he pulled on a pair of Chris’s socks and stepped into his shoes.

The recognizable sound of a cat scampering to her owner had met Dan’s ears and suddenly a wild Mr. Mumbles appeared. She ran up his arm and sat perched on his shoulder, rubbing her head on his.

“Hey Mr. Mumbles, how’d you sleep?”

She blinked and gave a small “Mew.”  
“Can’t say the same.” Mr. Mumbles gave Dan a final nudge, like a hug, and ran off out of his vision.

He sighed and stood up, walking out of his dingy apartment he hissed when the sunlight had met his gaze. “Glad I don’t live in Alaska, it’d be cold as hell right now.” One thing that Dan was thankful for, not being greeted with cold in the morning. Thanks California.

Slowly down the stairs, on the sidewalk, he finally stopped when he decided to lean against the “No soliciting” sign next to some idiot’s green bike. Then, Out of spite, he knocked it over. 

Then he saw the blue car rolling down the street, with the oblivious moron inside with…. Elise.  
He walked out in front of the car, when the vehicle had come to a stop he kicked the front bumper. 

“Dan! What the-?! Why’d you do that?!” 

“Why’d you do THAT?!” he screamed pointing at Elise.

“Dan, it’s not that big of a deal just get in the car.” 

He growled and glared at Elise as he passed the passenger side door. 

He knew it, everyone knew it, except Chris of course.   
He didn’t deserve Elise.  
The only person though, who thought that Elise didn’t deserve him, was Dan. 

“Hello, Dan.” Elise rolled her eyes at his sudden anger.

He mumbled some profanities under his breath, the mumbling that Chris had learned to ignore.  
Dan could admit that Elise wasn’t so bad at times, but every other time she was horrid and he hated her guts. Along with her parents. They could all burn in hell for all he cared. But if they were in hell he wouldn’t let Chris be dragged down with them, Dan has had a glimpse of what hell was like when he worked with that demonic boss he once had. What he did manage to see in that hole in the floor was not pretty at all. He still couldn’t believe that Chris actually thought that he was going to be sacrificed by Himself. Did he really not trust Dan? After all these years… 

The only time Dan could think of when he had maybe betrayed Chris was when they were duking it out over that dumb toy. Even then he had saved Chris’s life… Ungrateful bastard. 

Next thing Dan knew they were already at the farmers market.


	5. Understandable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh, i literally just finished this chapter... of you wanna see anything in this fic just suggest something on my tumblr @queen-anarchy-666

“Come on Dan, she’s really not that bad.” Chris had taken Dan aside while Elise went to go find other things. 

“Yes she is! Elise is a jerk you shouldn’t have married her! I told you it was a mistake ever since you met her!” 

“Dan, really she isn’t that bad you’re just stubborn and you don’t want to admit that you two can’t get along because she’s too much like you.” 

Dan scoffed and crossed his arms at Chris’s remark “No, because if she was just like me I’d be her best friend. Duh.”

“Dan come on, just stop being such a… He paused, not being able to find the right word.

“Exactly you can’t even explain yourself, so why should I?” He held out his hand and poked Chris’s stomach “Now if you’ll excuse me I’ll have that kettle corn now.” 

Chris furrowed his brow and pulled out his wallet, “Fine, get some for me too.”

When Dan turned around he mumbled out everything he wouldn’t dare say to Chris’s dumb, stupid, idiotic, moronic, cute face.

“Stop it now.” Dan thought. “You’re gonna hurt yourself.” 

On his way to get the popped goodness he was stopped by Elise. 

“Hey, Dan. Where’s Chris I thought he was with you?”

“Yeah, he was. But now he’s not. So leave me alone.”

She crossed her arms and sighed “Dan, where is Chris?”

“I don’t know! Over there being stupid or something! Jeeze.” Before Elise could say anything else he walked off.  
Once he had finally gotten the kettle corn he walked back to Chris… with Elise on his arm.

“Oh hey Dan, are you ready to go? Elise and I are going to the movies and.-“

“You can take me with.” Dan crossed his arms and frowned at the tall man. “What movie are we going to?”

Elise stepped forward before Chris could speak “You’re not coming with Dan.”

“Like hell I’m not!”

“Fine, you can sit through “Happy Attractive People in Love 3”… and I heard it was 3 hours long.”

Dan’s face reddened as he choked back multiple profanities, “Fine! I don’t care, I’m going!”

Chris looked down at Elise, “It’s really not that big of a deal, Honey…”

Elise rolled her eyes “Alright, Dan. You get to come with.” She watched Dan as he walked out to the car and sat there waiting for the other two. She turned to Chris and 

poked his chest “And you have got to start standing up for yourself.” 

“Elise, I try it’s just- Dan… doesn’t have many other friends… none of his other friends understand him the way I do… or at least can’t handle him.”

“I don’t care Chris, you’re 27 years old and he’s not the boss of you!”

“It’s like you think I don’t know that. Seriously Elise, Dan needs me.”

“But you don’t need Dan.”

Chris looked down at his sandals, of course he needed Dan.  
He brought excitement and a sense of being wanted into Chris’s life.  
He was the only one who seems to actually want Chris around… except his parents of course. Not even his wife made him feel like he had purpose.  
He didn’t have any other friends except Dan… Although he would have friends if Dan wasn’t around.  
He could never stand to leave Dan, ever since they met at that horrible camp as kids they promised to never leave their figurative sides as long as they had lived.  
Once Chris had found out about Dan’s life at home the promise became even more immense in importance, but he knew that nobody else would understand why.  
Completely ignoring Elise’s statement he looked over at Dan in the car.

“We should probably get going… so Dan doesn’t start getting impatient.”


	6. Elise.

While in the car Dan began to kick the back of Elise’s chair. Like a child.

“Dan knock it off.” Chris looked into the mirror and raised an eyebrow. “You should be grateful that we’re taking you along.”

“Whatever.”

Elise turned around quickly “Dan if you don’t stop kicking my chair I am going to break your legs.”

Shocked by her remark, Chris looked over at Elise “That isn’t necessary, Dan will you please stop kicking Elise’s seat?!” He swerved to miss another cyclist. 

“Keep your eyes on the road, Chris.” Dan sat up in the back seat. Out of boredom he began to carve out the word “Jerk” on the bottom right hand corner of the chair in front of him. He did this all the time, it was nothing new. He was just surprised that neither Chris nor Elise had noticed it yet.

When Dan finally put his knife away he had begun to think. Again. 

Why did Chris protect Elise all the time?

She’s perfectly capable of defending herself on her own and everyone knows she doesn’t need a guy like Chris to take care of things for her.

Of course Dan wouldn’t understand these things, none of his relationships had lasted more than a few days. Well… romantic ones anyway… sort of. 

Dan recalled having very romantic moments with Chris in their college years.

Then again so did every drunk guy in college. Sort of.

He wouldn’t call it romantic actually it was more ….experimental but… y’know still. 

Of course Dan remembers it fondly… but he didn’t know if he could argue the same way for Chris. 

It wasn’t anything too over the top it was just… kissing. 

While being shirtless.

He remembers Chris telling him that he was uncomfortable with it, so they had stopped, and of course It had been a bit awkward after that, but Chris seemed to have forgotten pretty quickly. 

He told Dan that he had a date with a girl who had beautiful eyes, and silky hair.

Of course Dan applauded him at first, he finally had a girlfriend. This dorky, overeating idiot had finally found a girl that had liked him back. Dan wanted details, and after getting details he found that this relationship of his would be very short.

Over time he had become worried that his experience wouldn’t be fleeting. 

Damn, he was right. 

Next thing he knew he was at his best friend’s wedding, getting drunk and giving a very expletive-laced Best Man’s speech. After the speech he was pulled aside by Chris. 

He asked him to stop acting like a jerk, and he seemed to have meant it… which was unlike Chris. Soon after Dan had finally decided to let Chris have his way... for once. He stood outside until the wedding was almost over, he didn’t wanna stick around for the throwing of the garter… he would never touch anything that had been under that woman’s dress. 

That very night, it was strange. Dan hadn’t rested too well... he was too focused on thinking about things that he should’ve said to Chris… even before he had even met   
Elise. Then he began to think of ways to get rid of her, how to make her go ‘missing’ like she had never even existed. 

Of course these thoughts had faded when morning came and Chris called Dan about their honeymoon trip. He begged Dan not to come with, but of course… Dan would go whether Chris liked it or not. 

After a while on the trip Elise just left Dan with Chris and went to go have fun on her own… or at least that’s what she told them. 

Chris had explained to Dan why he wanted to be alone with Elise ... which was more than Dan ever wanted to know, but he didn't care. Chris was HIS. Chris was his minion, his friend... His...

“Dan we’re here are you getting out of the car or not?” 

Dan blinked and looked out of the window at Chris, who was tapping the glass. 

“We’re gonna be late for the movie.”


	7. Popcorn

The smell of popcorn wafted through the air and had stopped the trio almost as soon as they had stepped in the building. 

“Oh wow, do you smell that Elise?! Fresh popcorn!”

Elise held her nose, a result of the strong scent of salt and butter. “Yeah… I’m not too big of a fan of the popcorn here.” 

The trio looked up on the screen for the movie that they had come for, “Happy Attractive People in Love 3,” but alas… 

Dan smiled when he looked up at the big red letters that had spelled “SOLD OUT.” Over the top of the lettering for H.A.P.I.L.3, they’d have to pick another movie. 

“Oh no… Happy Attractive People in Love 3 is sold out… Is there anything else to watch, Chris?”

“Well, there’s ‘Tiny Alpaca Trampoline Adventure’… but uh… nope! Nothing! Let’s go!” He stuck his hands in his pockets and started walking outside when Dan grabbed his shirt sleeve.

“No wait! There’s still Trailer Park Bloodbath, we could go to that.” 

Chris looked at Elise and raised an eyebrow, “Do we have to?” 

She smiled and looked up at Chris, “Come on it sounds fun! I’m sure it’s not that scary anyhow.” 

“I-I guess… but do we have to?” 

Dan shoved Chris towards the ticket booth and sneered “Stop being such a baby and get the tickets already!”

“O-Okay…” 

When he was finished he immediately looked over to the snack bar. He gave the tickets to Elise and Dan, “You two go on ahead, I’m uh… gonna get some food.” As he finished up gathering all that he wanted from the snack bar he began to sweat. 

_“I don’t want to see ‘Trailer Park Bloodbath’ …I can’t handle that sort of thing…”_

He stopped and leaned against a wall, to collect himself. He shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth and started to calm down, and contemplate.

 _“How did I ever end up marrying such a fearless person like Elise?”_ He thought.  
She could’ve been with Colby, her successful ex-boyfriend whom her parents loved more than their own son. Chris had always wondered why Elise fell for him and not Colby, he was the opposite of what Colby was. A pushover, an over-eater, and not as attractive as him, which was a thing that everyone had pointed out. 

He could say that he wasn’t as strong as him… but that’s debatable. Considering that he was part bear. 

He could list off all the things that he fell in love with Elise for, but he could never give reasons as to why Elise might’ve fallen for him. He was surprised that they had even lasted this long, mostly because everyone had doubted him. Including Dan.  
Although his parents weren’t disappointed, they applauded him for taking such a lovely girl home, because he hadn’t really done anything else worth applauding.

He remembers Dan’s reaction when he told him that he met a nice girl, he laughed at him and told him that he was lying. The next day Chris made plans for the three of them to go to hang out somewhere, then Dan believed him.  
He knew that Dan was skeptical about his relationship with Elise, then again Dan put Chris down constantly so it wasn’t really a surprise.  
After all that his relationship with Elise had blossomed and soon they were engaged, and around that time Chris would try to help Dan find a girl… or guy… since Chris had never been too sure of what Dan was into.  
Although this had failed for a number of reasons because Dan was rude, stubborn, or he just found the girl to not be his ‘type’. 

“Hey Chris! The movie is about to start, stop eating the damn popcorn and get in here!” 

Chris looked up at Dan and snapped out of his dreamlike state of reminiscing, “I’ll be there in a sec!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still looking for suggestions! if you have any inbox me on my tumblr blog @queen-anarchy-666 or just comment below to give suggestions, either way i'd love to hear your ideas :3  
> i'll try my best to work it in if i like your idea!


	8. Want Me To Hold Your Hand?

“Hey Chris! Up here!” Chris looked up at the only other two in the theater and made his way up to the top row. 

Elise plucked her soda out of Chris’s hand and smiled “It’s great we’re the only ones in the theater!” 

Chris looked around, he was too busy looking at Elise to realize there was nobody else around. “Oh, cool!” He made a move to sit next to Elise, he then watched as Dan put his feet up on the seat next to her. 

Dan faked a petty yawn and pointed to the seat on the other side of him “There’s a seat for you here, Chris.” 

Chris scowled shortly before he glanced to the other side of Elise “There’s a seat right next to Elise though.” 

Dan frowned and kicked over the drink in Elise’s hand, it toppled over and spilled over Elise and the side of the arm rests and dumped all of its contents onto the red cushion and the angry woman. 

Elise stood up annoyed and tired “I… Am going… to go clean up… and get a new drink.”

“Elise I’m so sorry I-“

“It’s not your fault, just… sit next to Dan, okay?” 

“Okay.” He sat down so Elise could pass, he watched as she walked off until he heard a giggle to the left of him. “You know that’s not funny, Dan. That was horrible of you.”

Dan covered up his smile and sighed “Well I’m laughing.” 

Chris slumped into his chair and pouted “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Oh don’t be such a big baby, she’s not gonna miss any of the movie. The ads before any of the actual ads that come with the movie are on.” 

Chris straightened up, remembering the movie they were about to watch, _“so much blood….”_  
He swallowed hard and began to stutter “I-I hope not…” 

Dan snorted and leaned back to look at Chris “Are you really scared? Awwww do you want me to hold your hand?”

Chris frowned and shoved Dan “No, I’m not scared!”

“You’re shaking, and the movie hasn’t even started.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”


	9. Well I'm Going To Anyway.

After Elise had returned and Chris had forced Dan to apologize the three sat in their respectable spots in the theater. 

When the movie started the lights had dimmed from their dark glow to total darkness, not a problem for Chris. His problem was the scream that rang out in the first few seconds of the film, and he knew he wasn’t going to have fun watching this. 

Dan smiled and grabbed the popcorn from Chris, as he thought the opposite about what was to come from this.

Elise, who was more indifferent about the situation, thought more about her white shirt being ruined than what was playing on screen, or who was sitting beside her. 

Chris wasn’t too fond of horror movies like Dan was, especially since that incident the last time he went camping. It was too real for his taste and he’d rather not be around anything of that sort for a long time, and watching this was a little too close for comfort.   
Not too long into the movie it became bloody, the last time he remembered seeing something this… graphic… was when he watched SAW with Dan, and boy… did that make him uneasy.   
He tried to keep his gasps and whimpers to a minimum to not disturb the only other two, but his anxiety got the best of him. 

Dan sat up and looked up at Chris, at first he was irritated that Chris still thought this obviously fake gore was scary, but he became more compassionate when he saw his hand trembling on the arm rest. Dan gently placed his hand atop of Chris’s, to stop the shaking.

Chris was startled by the unexpected touch, and immediately scoped out the source. “Uh… Dan?” he stared down at their fingers intertwined, like a hug of the hands. 

Dan blinked as he took another piece a popcorn, “What? I’m trying to watch.”  
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and cleared his throat “Why um… why are you holding my hand?”

Dan frowned and took his hand away quickly, “B-BECAUSE YOU KEPT SHAKING THE DAMN SEAT! SHUT UP!” he sat up straight in the seat and crossed his arms, a fake scowl on his face to hide the embarrassment and the redness. 

“I was only asking a question Dan, I-“

“WELL I WAS ONLY ANSWERING IT.” He slumped down and mumbled multiple profanities under his breath.

“H-Hey Dan, I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick,” he lied, “I’ll be right back.” He pushed himself up and raced out of the showing room, right before a stereotypical teenage stoner was decapitated. 

Dan nonchalantly leaned to look at Elise, who was focused on the movie and was unaware of her husband’s lack of presence. He smiled once he realized that the perfect opportunity had come. The perks of wearing black in the dark is that you go unseen, and he did just that. He stepped out of the showing room to find Chris in the fetal position on the floor just outside of the bathroom. 

He was shaking and muttering something to himself, probably one of his anti-anxiety mantras. 

“Pft, you are such a big baby you know that?”

Chris sniffed and curled up even tighter, “Thanks, Dan.”  
A twinge of guilt had struck Dan, was he really this scared of a lousy movie? 

“Um, so Elise told me to take you home…” He lied. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, she said that we can take the car, she’ll walk home.”

“Okay.” He got up from the floor with Dan’s assistance and got his keys out of one of his button-fastened pockets. “You go start the car I’m gonna get some more candy.” 

Dan sighed and looked down at the keys in his hand “We could literally just go somewhere else. Let’s just go.”

“But Dan-“

“NOW.” 

Chris put his wallet back in his back pocket and sighed. “Okay.” 

The two walked out and got into the car, peeling out promptly and without any hesitation.

“How long do you think Elise is gonna be?”

“Oh… not too long.” Dan giggled at the thought of Elise storming home in a fit of rage after realizing how long they had been gone. He loved getting her mad. 

“Alright.” He sighed and grinned “I can’t wait to see her. We’re going out later tonight and she bought this dress and it looks beautiful on-“

“Do you ever shut up about her? Literally nobody asked about what you’re doing later.” He became irritated, he always hated it when Chris talked about Elise like this. 

“Oh… sorry, Dan. I just… thought that you’d want to know where I’m gonna be later.” 

“Why would I care?!”

Chris stayed quiet and kept his eyes on the road. He always wondered why Dan hated Elise so much, other than him marrying her of course, which he always mentioned. “I just thought because… I don’t know I thought you’d want to know just in case you needed me.”

“Pft, like I totally need you.”

Chris narrowed his eyes, “You know without me you wouldn’t be able to do anything.”

Dan sat upright and eyed Chris, “What do you mean?”

“You wouldn’t be able to do your stupid revenge thing, you probably wouldn’t be able to get anything down from a shelf either.”

Dan growled under his breath, he remembered another reason why he didn’t like Chris marrying Elise. As bad as it sounds Chris developed a mind of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recommendations for this fic are always welcomed! Just send me an idea @queen-anarchy-666.tumblr.com


End file.
